When Anonymous Blogging Isn't Enough

I once had an anonymous blog that I kept for many years. The blog was so fulfilling to me, and along the way I met many, many people who I felt very connected to. It was always a strange feeling to meet more kindred spirits online than I actually knew in my lifetime. I really miss it.

I stopped blogging because some of my readers wanted to begin to meet me.  I had fabricated an anonymous identity, writing little white lies here and there-enough to protect my true identity. I was always afraid that someone from my real life would find the blog, so I left fake little clues about my identity. And then when I started getting too close to people, I just couldn't stand the thought of having to admit that I had twisted the truth a bit. So I just stopped blogging.

I really miss the community that I had established on my blog. I came into contact with many strong, smart and sassy women and men. It was through that blogging community that I changed my views on having children when I met so many strong, independent women who were happy as mothers. And for the past year I feel as if I have lost a big part of my life, and I yearn to get it back.

I just can't go back to my old blogging persona because I can't face the fact that I told a few fibs. It makes me sad that I have to completely wipe the slate clean because I don't want my previous community to know who the real me is. I want to start fresh from the beginning by telling the truth about who I am to my readers and community, and letting them really get to know me both online and in person.

The process of unveiling myself to other people is intimidating-especially when I have blogged anonymously for years. It feels scary to me to write about what is deeply personal or important to me when I know that someone who I actually know might be able to read it. I need to learn to move past the fear because I really need to do what makes me happy. And having a personal blog used to make me really happy.

So here's to 2012 and starting my second journey towards having a personal blog. This time it's a little more scary than the first because in the back of my head I will always know that whatever  I write just might be read by someone who I personally know. All I know is that I want to start doing what makes me happy, and writing about personal stuff used to make me happy.   Cheers!!